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How to Find a Sex Therapist for Lichen Sclerosus

10Oct 2022 by Jaclyn
Image of a person with tan skin and short brown hair sitting on a couch looking emotional with a sex therapist sitting across from them.

Introduction

Living with lichen sclerosus can impact your sexual health. Its impact may be mild to severe. In my last post, I discussed the myriad of ways my sexual health suffered from lichen sclerosus and how working with a sex therapist helped. Many folks haven't heard of sex therapy before and have asked me for advice on finding one. In this post, I'm going to share what a sex therapist is, how to find one, and the importance of vetting your sex therapist and starting therapy.

What is Sex Therapy and What is a Sex Therapist

Sex therapy is a type of counseling to help individuals work through a variety of sexual health issues.

This can include:

  • Arousal issues
  • Painful penetration
  • Vaginismus
  • Painful sex
  • Anxiety about sex
  • Trauma/Assault
  • Relationship issues
  • Body image issues
  • and so much more.

Sex therapists are licensed clinicians who have done their degrees specializing in relationships and sexual health.

You may see a sex therapist alone or with your partner(s).

Image of a person with dark brown skin, short black hair in a navy top and pants sitting on a chair with two people, one person with pale skin and short brown bobbed hair in a white sweater on the left and another with pale skin, short brown hair, a white T-shirt and jeans on. This represents two people in a relationship talking to a sex therapist.

Sex therapy can take place in person or virtually, depending on where you live. For reference, I started mine in person but switched to virtual after my sex therapist left the province. If you've ever done therapy, you know that when you find a good therapist you stay with them!

How to Find a Sex Therapist

There are a few ways to find a sex therapist.

  1. Doctor's referral. *Some* doctors have a list of licensed sex therapists and are able to send a referral. This *may* help with *some* insurance policies.
  2. Ask your pelvic floor physical therapist. It's not a guarantee, but they may have connections in their network and be able to suggest a couple of names or clinics.
  3. Sexual health databases such as The International Society for Sexual Medicine's Find a Provider tool is a helpful resource. This directory is international, so hopefully, you can find a provider near you.
  4. Google. Yup. Trusty ol' Google here to save the day, again. This is actually how I found my sex therapist. First, I Google ‘sex therapy near me'. I live in one of the largest cities in Canada, so unsurprisingly a few sexual health/sex therapy clinics popped up.

Vetting a Sex Therapist – Do Not Skip This Step

OK. So you found a sex therapist through one of the steps above. Yay! That's awesome. But now you want to set up an appointment and get started. However, before you go ahead and book an appointment, I recommend vetting your therapist first.

What do I mean by this? I mean email/call the sex therapist and ask them important questions relating to your case to help determine if they are a good fit and safe for you.

Here are some examples of questions I recommend asking prior to booking your first appointment:

  • Is therapy online or in-person? How long are the sessions?
  • What methods and techniques do you practice – e.g., somatic therapy, CBT, EMDR, DBT, psychoanalysis, art therapy, etc?
  • Can you tell me a bit about your background and the types of clients you tend to work with?
  • Have you ever worked with someone with lichen sclerosus before?
  • What is your insurance policy?
  • How do I set up an appointment?

To help you draft this email, I have created a template you can modify and use when vetting potential sex therapists. Click here for the free template; simply copy and paste it and then modify it to suit your needs.

The first one to respond may not necessarily be a good fit. Feel free to send emails to a few potential sex therapists to determine who is best for you and your needs.

Booking the Appointment and Starting Sex Therapy

OK. The sex therapist answered your email and you are feeling good about the responses to your questions and are ready to take the plunge. Congratulations! This is a huge step!

Book your appointment in accordance with your therapist's instructions.

The first couple of appointments will probably (but not necessarily, depending on the therapist) involve taking your history and getting to know you and your goals.

Image of two people hugging, with a look of peace and relief on their face.

If after a few visits you do not feel the fit is good, it is your right to stop seeing them and try to find a different sex therapist. Fit is just as important as credentials! Be sure to honor your needs.

The Takeaway Message

In sum, sex therapy can be super beneficial for folks with lichen sclerosus who have related sexual health issues. I provided different avenues to find a sex therapist as well as important questions to help you vet potential therapists and set you up for success.

Let me know in the comments if you see a sex therapist or if you plan to!

Reach Out to Me

If you want to chat with me about biopsies or Lichen Sclerosus, I can be reached at:

Instagram: @thelostlabiachronicles

Facebook: @TheLostLabiaChronicles

Email: lostlabiachronicles@gmail.com

1:1 Lichen Sclerosus Peer Support Calls with Jaclyn from TLLC

Image of a person with dark brown skin and short, dark brown hair wearing a yellow long sleeve shirt with a headset on at their computer. There is an opaque orange box with text that reads "1:1 Lichen Sclerosus Peer Support Call " in bold and "For more details go to my website or email/DM me".

If you are struggling with grief and emotions, feel free to book a 1:1 call with me. Simply click on this link to learn more about lichen sclerosus peer support calls.